My Child Is Like A Hermit Crab Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Last year or so ago I decided to raise hermit crabs. I've always loved them. I heard all the negative reviews from family members and friends. "Hermit crabs are practically not even a pet." "You can't even play with a hermit crab". "Hermit crabs are fine for the first couple months, then they die and you move on." "Hermit crabs stink." On and on it went.

I ignored all the negatives and after some time to research what type of home they needed and what types of food they ate. I set up my tank and purchased some hermit crabs. After a few weeks, I began to be astounded by what you could learn about children from a hermit crab.

1. Although hermit crabs have been labeled with the "hermit" label, it refers to being able to retreat into it's shell when frightened and trying to protect itself. Just like a child who retreats into himself in a stressful situation.

2. Actually, hermit crabs are found in colonies and need socialization to successfully live in captivity. Just like a child who cannot successful flourish without socialization and interaction.

3. Hermit crabs are just a shell with legs. Actually a hermit crab is made up of a hard outer shell it "borrows" from another creature to protect it's soft inner body. Just like a child who puts up a front of hard outer shell and won't let you in because he's protecting his soft inner emotions and feelings.

4. Without new places to explore or play, a hermit crab will become listless. Just like a child who without new learning experiences will become bored.

5. Hermit crabs can live in a wire cage or travel container and they'll be fine. Actually, hermit crabs require a specific amount of heat and humidity to allow their gills to breath properly and this is never achievable by keeping them in a wire cage or container. Just like a child who requires the right amount of love, care and a safe environment in order to grow.

6. Hermit crabs don't need any type of specialized lighting. Actually, hermit crabs need a specific light and dark cycle to successfully molt (shed it's skin and grow). Just like a child who needs proper rest, sleep and routine.

7. Hermit crabs are stupid. Actually hermit crabs are quite smart. Each evening between 9 and 10 I put their food in their tank. One night my kids were sick and I didn't bring their food to them until about 11:30. Sitting right in the spot where I place their food each night, was Harmony, my first hermit crab. Initially I thought coincidence, but after thinking about it, I decided to feed them "later" the next night. Once again, there sat Harmony, practically tapping her pincher on the rocks saying, "hurry up I'm hungry." Just like a child who you think can't communicate and is thought to not be bright. We need to find a way to "understand" what they are saying. We just have to look for the language they are speaking so we can communicate with them and you'll surprised at just how smart they really are.

8. Hermit crabs have no personality. You might think this until you've raised a few. Each and every one has a distinct personality about them. Just like a child.

9. Hermit crabs pinch. True. But more specifically, rather than pinching, they are grabbing. If you hold a hermit crab in the palm of your hand and let it crawl and move around, you'll never be pinched. But if you tip your hand to where they feel like they are going to fall and they are frightened, they'll grab on. Just like a child who has behavioral issues. We need to figure out why the behavior is manifesting so we can work on getting them the support they need.

10. Hermit crabs are not social and cannot make friends. Untrue. I purchased an extremely small hermit crab from a local pet shop. She was less then the size of a quarter. I felt so bad for her I had to bring her home. The pet store girl was prodding her with her keys to get her to move. She is painfully shy; we named her Little Angel. A few months later my niece decided she no longer wanted her jumbo crab Spiderman. He's about the size of an adult fist. I thought, good grief are these crabs all going to get along. Within one day I saw something in the tank and just had to stop and ponder. There was Little Angel riding on Spiderman's back. It was just like the big brother/big sister program, but for hermit crabs. She does this often and he allows it. Just like the child we think is locked up in a world of their own. They need friends, interaction and just the right amount of support to help them along.

K. Howey 6/17/09

The Warrior and The House Monday, June 1, 2009

The tired weary Warrior rises up to enter the house.
Burdened with life's care, pressured on every side,
the Warrior made a choice to come and lift it up in this very house.

The house was strangely quiet almost teaming with despair.
It's members sadly sitting, also burdened with life's care.
The warrior glanced around and said yes this is the place,
I know there once was freedom, but now it's been displaced.

Garments of praise put up on a shelf,
as the spirit of heaviness covered house.
Oh what joy used to reign and free worship used to flow.
Now it's bottled up and shifted sideways so pride could proudly grow.

Though tired and weary the Warrior began worshiping joining in with a shout!
Mercy, oh God, mercy, come and take these burdens out.

Deadly silent and covered with soot
the house remained soiled with destruction and despair,
no mention of why or how it happened,
it's as if no one even noticed the deep layer of soot,
that upon them was put.

Shrouded with death and burdened with oppression, manipulation and sin,
the house has lost it's direction not knowing now even where to begin.
Lift it up, praise His name, press in, the Warrior did shout.
But still remained the house, not even a peep tumbled out.

As the Warrior pressed on the Presence it did come.
The house began to rattle beating like a drum.
The Warrior continued on to Glorify His Name,
knowing full well the Anointing was the only thing
that could come and make the change.

Rattle and tumble, shaking over and about,
the house began its torturous journey to kick the sin out.
As the Presence came and deepened, the soot began to fall,
a deep cleansing was coming, renewing them all.

The house cried for forgiveness, blessing, and fresh wine from the Throne.
The Spirit of God began moving and sweeping it clean,
removing the damage, burden and sin
that once overwhelmed the house, a new time now to begin.

And just as the Spirit began to break the yoke of death, destruction and despair,
the house took two step's back choosing to honor life's care.

The Warrior was beside himself -- honor life's care?
The Spirit of God is moving here removing the despair!
The house shifted sideways seeming to not even care.

Grieve! Grieving! Grieved! The Warrior did shout,
how dare you stifle the Spirit, just to get your agenda out.
Oh what you've done to the Heart of God,
you've trampled it, suspended it in your need to move on.

The house proudly shook itself as the soot settled right back in.
This is how it goes here, how dare you call it sin.
And there it was the pride, that reigned from within.

The Warrior could feel the beat, the thump of the Father's heart.
My house, my house, do you not want me to come and get the soot out?

The house did not reply. There was no need.
It simply closed it's eyes and ears and followed sin's lead.

I was here. Right in your midst.
Tangible and ready to help you begin again.
But your pride and your way was more important than Mine.
There was pain when I sent my Son to die for you and I felt it deep within.
And here you sit grieving my Spirit causing the pain once again.

How dare we grieve the Spirit of Almighty God?
Forgive us, forgive us the Warrior did cry.
Lord Jesus forgive us for disrupting Your move.
JESUS! JESUS! The warrior cried in travail.
But it was all to no avail.
The Spirit had removed Himself,
as the house once again wrapped itself up
with the shroud of sin and death's veil.

Nothing happened, for you see the house was now quite dead.
Locked up with sins chains with it's pride bolted tight,
the house rolled over, not a tear did it shed.
For today was the day you told the Spirit of God
you are choosing to be dead.

written by K 5/31 - 6/1/09

Another Sunday Morning.... Sunday, May 24, 2009

Good morning!

Okay well, good sleepy morning that is. After a long 4 hour dance recital on Thursday, we had our first dance show last night. Today we are off to an afternoon of the running the same show for the second recital. I must say the girls were awesome and did a great job.

I spent the night running my butt off to be quite frank. I had 3 girls dancing. All of whom needed help with outfits, hairdo and outfit changes -- five costumes, five different hairdo's. Which would not have been too bad if we are all in the same area. But at last minute they decided to move the 4 through 8th graders into the gym locker rooms. Which left 2 of my kids in the cafeteria, one across the way in the gym and me running back and forth between changes and hairdos.

I'm going to have to figure something out for this afternoon. I think Katie felt a little discombobulated cause I wasn't close enough. Which is normal I think for a 10 year old. She even tried to come find me and someone told her to go back to the gym. She was nervous. And she's a kid that listens really well -- so she went back and just waited for me. I tried to tell her to stick up for herself, use polite words and say, "I need my mom and I'll be right back." Or "please get my mom for me I'll wait right here." I understand that they didn't want the audience seeing costumes, however, if my kid wants me, someone had better let her, or come get me ASAP.

And of course there were a couple of issues with the girls in the locker room not being supervised and etc. Which left Katie feeling like the odd man out because she was just sitting there alone while the others ran around. I know she's 10, but I think her emotions are more like 13. So I'm going to have to keep a close eye on her today.

I start school this week. "Characteristics and Remedial Strategies for the Impaired Learner." I'm really looking forward to it. I think it'll be very interesting. My advisor is the teacher and I like her very much so I hoping to get a lot out of the class. I'm also looking for airconditioning LOLLLLLL! Back when I as an undergrad some of the buildings were not air conditioned -- that was in the olden days of course.

This week I had a couple of bumps in the road at work and in some spiritual things that I'm trying to pray through. They are not recessarily bad things -- just a few disconcerting issues that I have to make a matter of prayer. God is good and faithful.

I read a terrific quote from Kenneth Copeland and I'm going to share it. It's below. Remember the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Neh 8:10). Which is a totally awesome scripture to have in front of me today, because in the book of Nehemiah that scripture revolves around the feast of Shavuot -- and wouldn't you know it this week begins the Jewish feast of Shavuot. God is good. He's unchangeable. He's right on time with what we need, when we need it. God is telling me in all the hassles, junk and issues I'm forging through -- remember the joy! Remember to be joyful! Remember its my strength!

Hugggz,

Kristy~!

Joy gives you a kind of staying power that will make you a winner again and again.

So make a commitment to God that you're going to walk,

not only in faith and in love but in joy as well.

Waffles, Schedules and Freedom in the Lord Sunday, May 17, 2009

Good morning everyone!

It's been almost a month since I've posted and given you all an update. This is the best I could do, my goal of a weekly update has gone away with the breeze because there is just too much to do in the month of May.

This morning I decided to get up and make the kids waffles. Of course, Karrie wanted a bagel instead -- shocking -- but Katie, Kelsey and I had homemade waffles with bananas and strawberries. YUMMY! They needed a treat. It's been so crazy around here and I'm tired of feeding them on the run. Sometimes you just have to hold up your family "stop sign" and go, nope can't do that -- we need to gather up here and refocus.

The month of May has been difficult here. Not only do we have dance classes, we have baseball now and piano. If only dance had been over at the end of April, all would be well. But in the last 2 weeks I think there were 2 nights we were able to do nothing. Some days we go right from school, to dance then 1 or 2 baseball games. My kids were getting exhausted. Who decided to have baseball games for 6 year olds at 7:30 p.m.? Don't they know little kids need rest? Last week I held up my "stop sign" and said -- okay, here's the schedule for the week, let's see what works for "us", not what works for everyone else. I was able to rearrange a few things, skip and game here and there and arrange for some carpooling with dance, so that was a welcome blessing. This coming week will be the last for dance. Thanks be to God!

Who loves dance more than I? Okay, maybe Karrie does. But 3 years in a row now the recitals are on Memorial Day weekend. Ugh. It's so late in the season, conflicts with the local softball schedule -- I mean what would be the harm in being done at the end of April? Other than them collecting another month's worth of tuition.

And then in the last day or two the schedule was getting crazy and I once again had to hold up my "stop sign" and go nope -- we can get to what we can get to, we simply cannot do everything. Now mind you this is all happening with my kids in school and I am working full time. Three baseball games, 2 at the same time Monday, one in my hometown one about 30 minutes away. Dance classes and piano. Then my kids have to be at full hair and make up dance rehearsal on Thursday from 5-8 at least, then Friday another game, Saturday recital 1, Sunday recital 2. Monday -- Memorial Day -- jump up and down because dance is finally over.

So I took my "stop sign" and choose to miss a game today, because it conflicts with a First Holy Communion Party we need to attend. Wednesday -- they called for another dance class for the 5 year olds, and I was like okay, they have to be there Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday? Uhhh nope. Now I am sure all of you out there know exactly what I mean. Where in all of that above do I feed my kids? Let my dogs out? When do they rest? When do I rest? When does the laundry get done? "Stop sign"! It has to stop, it simply must. I think God has been telling me to really focus on my family and not of the guilty of not being able to make every single event.

A friend of mine said, do you realize how much you are forgetting? That is so unlike you. I said, honestly, I think it's a blessing from the Lord, then I don't have to feel so guilty about not being superwoman and accomplishing all of these tasks. Proverbs 31 women do NOT feel bound to conform to this world. Proverbs 31 women feel joyful about enjoying every moment with their family and making preparations for them, not in despair because there are not enough hours in the day. A Proverbs 31 women manages her family with joy and happiness of heart. I need to remember that and stay in that place.

On a more personal front, I begin grad school in 2 weeks. I'm getting my master's and teaching certificate in special education. I'm happy about it. Nervous a little, but overall happy. I'll be even happier when I can get a full scholarship HAHA! I'm really blessed too to be able to get in a couple classes over the summer. It's an accelerated format and lenghtened class time, but within a month I can get a whole class over with. Yippee! I'm doing that in June and July. Don't even ask about a vacation LOL!

So yesterday and today, I've been thinking about being free in Christ. That Newsboy's song "I am free", keeps running through my mind. I AM free. I AMMMMMMM free. I'm free in God and not in bondage to schedules and the designs of this world. I am free to worship Him. Free to be who God made me. Free to worship Him whenever and however. I'm not going to feel restraints any longer. No longer going to conform. I'm simply going to worship the Lord the way HE wants to be worshipped. If I want to dance -- I'll dance. If I want to raise a banner -- I'll wave it. If I want to lay quietly on the floor -- I'll rest. I'll worship Him anyway He speaks to my heart.

God wants us to run after HIM -- not be worried we are stepping on someone's toes or not asking 10 people permission to do something so it doesn't offend someone. Am I a radical for thinking this? Am I nutz? Am I stretching the boundaries of religion? Technically, no -- because I don't believe in religion -- I don't believe we should be bound to formats and programs. I believe in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ Almighty. He's the one that sets the game plan! He's the one we follow. He knew what was going to happen before the formation of this world.

Does the Holy Spirit minister to us? A resounding yes. Does the anointing of God break the enemies yoke? A resounding yes. Does God still perform miracles? A resounding yes. Then why hinder Him and stop what His plan is to replace it with ours? If we put ourselves, our ideas, our programs in front of him. It's sin. Plain and simple. It's disobedience and it grieves the Heart of the Father. Hasn't He done enough for you? Hasn't He died for you? Hasn't he suffered agony that you might live forever? Then why -- WHY -- do we push Him aside to take the offering? If the Holy Spirit it moving and you interrupt that -- you are grieving the Holy Spirit.

What would happen if we let go? What would happen if we just came to church ready and set to go? What would happen if we all came to church with an expectation of deliverance? What would happen if you just simply prepared YOURSELF without the trappings of a "service" and just let God be God?" Would you have lost control? Why do you need control? If you've chosen to submit to the will of the Lord for your life -- you've already lost control.

Oh no it's not a matter of submission to authority. When we, the human race, put our ideas on God, put our ideas on people, wrap people up in bondage, it's sin. For years I've heard of the "order of the Lord". For years we've spoken of "the appropriate way to do things." For years we've spoken about "asking 10 different people for permission to do xyz". Bondage. Guilt. Condemnation. Is that what the Lord wants for us?

Is there anything wrong with submission? Nope. It's biblical. Is there anything wrong with having orderly worship? Nope. It's biblical and correct. But when our ideas outweigh the moving the Holy Spirit it's sin. If we've so bound up the people of God with our trappings of what "should" be, we forget what "could be" if we just skip it and let go and let God.

God has made me FREE! FREE! FREE INDEED! And I am going to walk in that freedom. He died for me that I might live and be FREE. Being fully free in Christ is my desire. It's my passion. And I will listen and obey His direction.

Hugggz, Kristy~!

John8:36-38 (MSG) Jesus said, "I tell you most solemnly that anyone who chooses a life of sin is trapped in a dead-end life and is, in fact, a slave. A slave is a transient, who can't come and go at will. The Son, though, has an established position, the run of the house. So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through.

Some scripture to think on... Monday, April 20, 2009

Hey there!

I've gotten a new bible recently -- parallel bible with NJKV, contemporary, message and reference/study notes. I LOVE IT! Anywho, I've been reading Isaiah and came upon this...Isaiah 1 in the NJKV verses 10-20...

¹⁰ Hear the word of the LORD,
You rulers of Sodom;
Give ear to the law of our God,
You people of Gomorrah:
¹¹ “ To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices to Me?”
Says the LORD.

“ I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams
And the fat of fed cattle.
I do not delight in the blood of bulls,
Or of lambs or goats.
¹² “ When you come to appear before Me,
Who has required this from your hand,
To trample My courts?
¹³ Bring no more futile sacrifices;
Incense is an abomination to Me.
The New Moons, the Sabbaths, and the calling of assemblies—
I cannot endure iniquity and the sacred meeting.
¹⁴ Your New Moons and your appointed feasts
My soul hates;
They are a trouble to Me,
I am weary of bearing them.
¹⁵ When you spread out your hands,
I will hide My eyes from you;
Even though you make many prayers,
I will not hear.
Your hands are full of blood.
¹⁶ “ Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean;
Put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes.
Cease to do evil,
¹⁷ Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Rebuke the oppressor;^]">[a]
Defend the fatherless,
Plead for the widow.
¹⁸ “ Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the LORD,

“ Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be as wool.
¹⁹ If you are willing and obedient,
You shall eat the good of the land;
²⁰ But if you refuse and rebel,
You shall be devoured by the sword”;
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

So we've all read theses scriptures. They are beautiful and powerful. We've seen them over and over. Sung them in song after song. But what I thought very interesting was the Message translation of the same scriptures. Read this from the Message....

¹⁰"Listen to my Message,
you Sodom-schooled leaders.
Receive God's revelation,
you Gomorrah-schooled people.

^11-12"Why this frenzy of sacrifices?"
God's asking.
"Don't you think I've had my fill of burnt sacrifices,
rams and plump grain-fed calves?
Don't you think I've had my fill
of blood from bulls, lambs, and goats?
When you come before me,
whoever gave you the idea of acting like this,
Running here and there, doing this and that—
all this sheer commotion in the place provided for worship?

^13-17"Quit your worship charades.
I can't stand your trivial religious games:
Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings—
meetings, meetings, meetings—I can't stand one more!
Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them!
You've worn me out!
I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion,
while you go right on sinning.
When you put on your next prayer-performance,
I'll be looking the other way.
No matter how long or loud or often you pray,
I'll not be listening.
And do you know why? Because you've been tearing
people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.
Go home and wash up.
Clean up your act.
Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings
so I don't have to look at them any longer.
Say no to wrong.
Learn to do good.
Work for justice.
Help the down-and-out.
Stand up for the homeless.
Go to bat for the defenseless.

Let's Argue This Out

^18-20"Come. Sit down. Let's argue this out."
This is God's Message:
"If your sins are blood-red,
they'll be snow-white.
If they're red like crimson,
they'll be like wool.
If you'll willingly obey,
you'll feast like kings.
But if you're willful and stubborn,
you'll die like dogs."
That's right. God says so.

MY! MY ! MY! What an eye opener! I have been feeling like this for years -- especially verses 13-17. Why can't we just let go and let GOD? Why do we have to do it the same old rote way? Why? Over, over and over, and things never change. Hearts and lives remain the same. There's no real repentance. No real accountability. No real change.

Only God knows hearts, only God knows the depths that will allow Him to move and change us. Time, as they say, will tell if there was true change. Are we to judge others? No. Do we continue to allow the sin? No. How do we not judge others, but still not tolerate the sin? See Matthew 18 and I'll add to that by removing ourselves from the place where the sin is allowed to continue.

Format, schedules and the such have become such a burden to me. It grieves the heart of the Lord when we don't just allow Him to move. Is it sinful when we follow OUR will and not His? Yes. Is it sin when we have an agenda and try to fit Him in it? Yes. If our will is outside of God's will -- we have to lay our self down to allow Him to have His way. If we don't, and we continue to move in what we think should be the agenda -- it's sin. It's God way -- or it's not. It's black or it's white. No fence sitters. It's repentance and change or it's sin. Plain and simple.

We are going to be worshiping the Lord forever -- shouldn't we just step back from our desires, designs and thoughts of how things should be done and just practice worshiping Him the way He wants to be worshiped?

There was a point a few months back before finding this scripture that I was saying, God why is it that programs and formats bother me so? I began to feel guilty judging my own motive. Was I being not submissive? Was I seeking my own agenda? Was I putting my opinion above others? It was after much prayer I decided no -- it's not any of those.

It's as if a feeling of grief that has been put upon me. It's a matter for prayer. It's because the Heart of the Father is grieved that we cannot just step out of the way and lay our ideas down. He is grieved when He is ready to come and manifest Himself mightily and we decide to take the offering and listen to the announcements. He is grieved when we shut Him down just to do meet and greet time.

He is holding miracles in His hand, yet we don't allow Him give Him the time he created for us. What was the first thing God sanctified? Time. Remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. How important is time? Did He create it? Is all of it His already? Who are we to even attempt to stop the moving the Spirit?

God is looking for true and life changing repentance. He is looking for an honest, holy, repentant people who are ready to lay down their own will that His may be done to His glory.

Hugggz,

Kristy~!

I love cream of wheat! Sunday, April 19, 2009

Morning!

I love cream of wheat! Why, you ask? 'Cause it's homey, comforting and reminds me of simple peaceful things. It has nothing really to do with the cereal -- it has everything to do with the emotion surrounding it.

It's been a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnngggg week. God is good and faithful. I'm glad He's an able God because I have "zero" left to give. And that's okay -- today I'll rest and rejuvenate -- tomorrow back to work.

Last week was Easter of course, busy busy. Thursday went on the first grade field trip to the circus. It was okay. Loved the acrobats, motorcycles and etc. I was not to happy with 2 of the animal acts. It wasn't that they were cruel or anything -- it was more like the poor things were tired and didn't want to be bothered. One little pig (okay, so she was about 200 pounds), just looked like she needed to be left the heck alone -- but she did her little thing and got her treat. I am none too happy with that. Would I ever take a class to that trip again? No. Did the kids love it? Yes. Was it worth it? I don't think so.

Friday -- yes the very next day -- went on the fourth grade field trip. This one was the an all day trip. The kids went to Med evil times in New Jersey then the Liberty Science Center. Left 7:15 a.m. -- home 9:30 p.m. I must say I loved this trip. I thought med evil times would freak me out, but I really enjoyed it. I thought they used a lot of historically information and really made it informative. Then we hit the science center. LOVED IT! We took the time to look at the brochure and decide where the kids I were chaperoning wanted to go -- which totally worked. We started backwards from the top floor and worked our way down.

We couldn't find the elevator, so we took the stairs. (How can you not find an elevator?) Of course after 3 flights of stairs the kids were saying "oh why did we take these stairs" and blah blah blah. We hit the last flight of stairs. Ascending up and right there in front of us -- the Statue of Liberty. The kids were beyond excited. It coudn't have been better. Just like God saying....yeah you have to work a little harder, but hey there's a reward at the end. But I'm veering of course here LOL.......

Once they got their pictures, I turned them to the left and right there, Wall Street, lower Manhattan and the gap where the twin towers were. I have to say, this really was awesome for them. Then I got to thinking -- how is it that we live just 2 hours away and our children have never been here?

What a marvelous long day that was. By the time I home and in bed -- it was late. And on to Saturday morning. Got up to finish making baby shower favors for a friend of mine. Then we were off to do dance pictures. Five sets of pictures, five costume changes, five hairdo's. All before 12:10! We started at 9:40 and it never stopped for over 2 hours. Exhausting. So mind you I've been to 2 field trips, then a thousand pictures and now, since the pictures were running 40 minutes late -- I'm running late and then..........I'm off to a baby shower for a very good friend of mine from 1-3.

Got to the baby shower. Which really was lovely. I felt like I could finally take a breath. I love my friend. After 2 kids and 10 years of trying for another, she's been blessed with this miracle. She is having a boy and I am overjoyed at this miracle. Anyway...it was over at 3, but I stayed until after 4 to help clean up. Then..........was 1/2 hour late to take Karrie to a sleep over. I must say in all this craziness and busyness, my hubby was amazing. He had the whole house cleaned and everything.

Soooooooooooooooo having said all of that, by 5 o'clock yesterday, I had zero left. Nothing. Tank running on empty. I called my mom (our worship leader) and told her I just couldn't go to church the next day and play keyboard. Time to reel it in and go okay God fill me back up! Time to REST and restore in HIS peace. Time to refocus on the family. Time to say okay God here I am, I just can't run out the door again, more clothes, more changes, more hairdo's, more rushing -- nope can't do it.

I think God respects honesty -- and in all honesty -- I've been beyond blessed this morning just worshipping and reading my bible in peace here at home. It's okay to say "no" to things, it's okay to choose to not feel guilt because I had to say "nope couldn't go." So now, I'm going just throw on some sweats and pick up my daughter from her sleepover, ask hubby to make pasta sauce and relax and rejoice in the Lord.

Hugggz,

Kristy~!

Yummmmmmmmmm......the smell of pasta sauce cooking.....

Me and mine 4/12/09 Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter everyone! The tomb is empty -- He is risen!

We had a great family day today. Got up early -- 6:20 -- with my little girls running down the steps whispering, but pounding on the steps none the less, "The Easter Bunny was here....." Then running back up the stairs. They held off in their room until 7ish when they went to wake up their older sister.

We had breakfast, got dressed and made it to church just a smidge late for sound check. Although, they did know I was coming 15 minutes late. We would have been earlier except Karrie caught her dress in the door and it ripped so I had to make a last minute alteration on it. Which was interesting as I had just painted my nails red and was trying to safety pin her white and blue dress without getting polish on them LOL!!!

I hope I sleep tonight. My nerves are shot. Can you be 38 and have your nerve's be shot? Apparently. My nerves are on high alert even woke up in the middle of the night with all the tension in my neck just tingling. I've had piles and piles of stuff on my mind. And I think it's catching up with me, and not in a good way. I need to release some of it and lay it on the Lord.

A lot of times I Iet people see the smile and not see the emotions behind it. I don't know why. It just happens. I'm supposed to be put together you know. I'm supposed to agree with everyone in authority. I'm supposed to this and that. I'm supposed to just nod and smile and go with it. And you know what? I decided that I am 38 and I'm done with that now. And I have to remind myself everyday -- spiritually I know who I am in God and now I need to walk in it. No fear. No worrying about the opinions of mankind. It's okay to say, "no" in the most polite and humble of ways.

I need to have the courage to know what I believe, why I believe that way and not agree with everyone. I need to remind myself it's okay for me to not agree with the powers that be. I need to remind myself that I do have a valid voice. I have value. God chose me as His child, yet I don't have to continue to feel put down, overlooked or overshadowed. I am His child, yet I am strong and grown up in Him. Why does it seem like those I know are strong in the Lord seem to have been put to the wayside?

And while I'm rambling....might as well take a dive into the deep end of the pool. HAHA! I I need to be honest with myself. I'm tired of feeling like I have to walk on egg shells around people. I'm tired of trying to make everyone happy. I'm tired of making things convenient for others. I'm tired of compromising what I know is best for me, my life and my family's life just because it's easier to flow along like nothings wrong or a problem is there.

I think the church as a whole needs to wake up and see the giftings and talents that are laying waste in the sanctuary seats. I think it's time to bring to the forefront the developed, wisdom bound, prayer laden, scripture filled Christians who've been pushed aside and forgotten. I think it's time for the church to say, yes, we need to move out -- move on -- utilize the talents and giftings right in their midst.

Why be jealous? Why be controlling? Why try to stifle what GOD himself has poured out? Who are we -- who are you to stifle what God has chosen to provide? I dare say we should remember the Word of the Lord. "The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together. The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road. The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes. God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree. Ps 19:7-9 MSG" God decided it -- God granted others giftings and talents -- trying to hold them back is like slamming a door in the face of God and saying, yes, that's a great gift they have, perhaps some year we'll let them use it.

Trying to hold them back is also likened to trying to hold back a raging river with a cotton ball. Oh it'll work for 1/100th of a second -- but inevitably GOD will be GOD and He will have His way. And like flood, He'll come rushing through and move right over us. (Isaish 59:19) Why not, acquiesce, move ourselves out of the way, out of our comfort zone of control and let God WORK? Has control and jealousy so burdened the church that we cannot even forget the program and just flow with what God has ordained for that given time?

Let's take a step back from OUR ideas, and OUR goals and OUR formats and let's lift it up -- and say God you are God, yet ever I will praise you -- I give this over to you. Use who you need to use to allow your glory to shine! The Glory be Yours LORD!!!! Work through us so that your glory might show forth like a raging fire. Work through your people so that we may glorify YOUR name.

Forgive us for getting in the way of your work. Forgive us God for putting jealousy and the pettiness of man ahead of the righteous Work of Almighty God. God forgive our us for trying to wrap you up in a nice neat holy box. God sweep over us. God sweep over us!!!!! SWEEP through us anew! Refresh and renew. Hallelujah! Fresh and new!

Oh I feel so much better. Mental note: this is long, better make the font smaller.

Hugggz,

Kristy~!

Isaiah 59:19 (The Message)

^15-19God looked and saw evil looming on the horizon—
so much evil and no sign of Justice.
He couldn't believe what he saw:
not a soul around to correct this awful situation.
So he did it himself, took on the work of Salvation,
fueled by his own Righteousness.
He dressed in Righteousness, put it on like a suit of armor,
with Salvation on his head like a helmet,
Put on Judgment like an overcoat,
and threw a cloak of Passion across his shoulders.
He'll make everyone pay for what they've done:
fury for his foes, just deserts for his enemies.
Even the far-off islands will get paid off in full.
In the west they'll fear the name of God,
in the east they'll fear the glory of God,
For he'll arrive like a river in flood stage,
whipped to a torrent by the wind of God.