Me and mine 4/12/09 Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter everyone! The tomb is empty -- He is risen!

We had a great family day today. Got up early -- 6:20 -- with my little girls running down the steps whispering, but pounding on the steps none the less, "The Easter Bunny was here....." Then running back up the stairs. They held off in their room until 7ish when they went to wake up their older sister.

We had breakfast, got dressed and made it to church just a smidge late for sound check. Although, they did know I was coming 15 minutes late. We would have been earlier except Karrie caught her dress in the door and it ripped so I had to make a last minute alteration on it. Which was interesting as I had just painted my nails red and was trying to safety pin her white and blue dress without getting polish on them LOL!!!

I hope I sleep tonight. My nerves are shot. Can you be 38 and have your nerve's be shot? Apparently. My nerves are on high alert even woke up in the middle of the night with all the tension in my neck just tingling. I've had piles and piles of stuff on my mind. And I think it's catching up with me, and not in a good way. I need to release some of it and lay it on the Lord.

A lot of times I Iet people see the smile and not see the emotions behind it. I don't know why. It just happens. I'm supposed to be put together you know. I'm supposed to agree with everyone in authority. I'm supposed to this and that. I'm supposed to just nod and smile and go with it. And you know what? I decided that I am 38 and I'm done with that now. And I have to remind myself everyday -- spiritually I know who I am in God and now I need to walk in it. No fear. No worrying about the opinions of mankind. It's okay to say, "no" in the most polite and humble of ways.

I need to have the courage to know what I believe, why I believe that way and not agree with everyone. I need to remind myself it's okay for me to not agree with the powers that be. I need to remind myself that I do have a valid voice. I have value. God chose me as His child, yet I don't have to continue to feel put down, overlooked or overshadowed. I am His child, yet I am strong and grown up in Him. Why does it seem like those I know are strong in the Lord seem to have been put to the wayside?

And while I'm rambling....might as well take a dive into the deep end of the pool. HAHA! I I need to be honest with myself. I'm tired of feeling like I have to walk on egg shells around people. I'm tired of trying to make everyone happy. I'm tired of making things convenient for others. I'm tired of compromising what I know is best for me, my life and my family's life just because it's easier to flow along like nothings wrong or a problem is there.

I think the church as a whole needs to wake up and see the giftings and talents that are laying waste in the sanctuary seats. I think it's time to bring to the forefront the developed, wisdom bound, prayer laden, scripture filled Christians who've been pushed aside and forgotten. I think it's time for the church to say, yes, we need to move out -- move on -- utilize the talents and giftings right in their midst.

Why be jealous? Why be controlling? Why try to stifle what GOD himself has poured out? Who are we -- who are you to stifle what God has chosen to provide? I dare say we should remember the Word of the Lord. "The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together. The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road. The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes. God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree. Ps 19:7-9 MSG" God decided it -- God granted others giftings and talents -- trying to hold them back is like slamming a door in the face of God and saying, yes, that's a great gift they have, perhaps some year we'll let them use it.

Trying to hold them back is also likened to trying to hold back a raging river with a cotton ball. Oh it'll work for 1/100th of a second -- but inevitably GOD will be GOD and He will have His way. And like flood, He'll come rushing through and move right over us. (Isaish 59:19) Why not, acquiesce, move ourselves out of the way, out of our comfort zone of control and let God WORK? Has control and jealousy so burdened the church that we cannot even forget the program and just flow with what God has ordained for that given time?

Let's take a step back from OUR ideas, and OUR goals and OUR formats and let's lift it up -- and say God you are God, yet ever I will praise you -- I give this over to you. Use who you need to use to allow your glory to shine! The Glory be Yours LORD!!!! Work through us so that your glory might show forth like a raging fire. Work through your people so that we may glorify YOUR name.

Forgive us for getting in the way of your work. Forgive us God for putting jealousy and the pettiness of man ahead of the righteous Work of Almighty God. God forgive our us for trying to wrap you up in a nice neat holy box. God sweep over us. God sweep over us!!!!! SWEEP through us anew! Refresh and renew. Hallelujah! Fresh and new!

Oh I feel so much better. Mental note: this is long, better make the font smaller.

Hugggz,

Kristy~!

Isaiah 59:19 (The Message)

^15-19God looked and saw evil looming on the horizon—
so much evil and no sign of Justice.
He couldn't believe what he saw:
not a soul around to correct this awful situation.
So he did it himself, took on the work of Salvation,
fueled by his own Righteousness.
He dressed in Righteousness, put it on like a suit of armor,
with Salvation on his head like a helmet,
Put on Judgment like an overcoat,
and threw a cloak of Passion across his shoulders.
He'll make everyone pay for what they've done:
fury for his foes, just deserts for his enemies.
Even the far-off islands will get paid off in full.
In the west they'll fear the name of God,
in the east they'll fear the glory of God,
For he'll arrive like a river in flood stage,
whipped to a torrent by the wind of God.